Shannon Kolakowski’s book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You’re Depressed is now available for pre-order on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, and other major booksellers. It and will be released March 2014. Dr. Shannon’s second book, Single, Shy and Looking for Love: A Dating Guide For the Shy and Socially Anxious will be released in September of 2014.
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When you are feeling depressed, having a loving, supportive relationship with your partner can help you in your path towards healing and creating a happier life. But often depression interferes with your relationship, distancing you from your partner during your time of need.
Using an integrative approach based in mindfulness, interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), When Depression Hurts Your Relationship offers practical skills to help readers with depression reignite intimacy with their partners.If you suffer from depression, this book is a must-read to help keep your romantic relationship healthy, exciting, and rewarding for you both.
“When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is an outstanding book, packed with easy to read information and strategies that will help couples navigate the stormy waters of depression. Shannon Kolakowski comprehensively tackles how depression negatively roots itself in the bonds of a partnership and offers solutions that are gentle, frank, and straightforward. One of the most wonderful things about Kolakowski’s writing is that she delicately weaves science and research in such a way that it doesn’t overwhelm the reader. Instead, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship empowers, informs, and inspires with hope and encouragement.
—Deborah Serani, PsyD, psychologist and award-winning author of Living with Depression
“Kolakowski has written a wonderfully practical book to help people dealing with depression and struggling to preserve their relationships. She integrates her psychology expertise in very simple and easy-to-follow ways. From attachment to coping styles Kolakowski addresses the psychological aspects that contribute to hurting the relationship when depression comes in and offers practical and easy exercises to break away from the hurting pattern. The book is a great resource not only for people dealing with depression in their relationship, but also for any couple wanting to improve their communication style, add mindfulness in the relationship, and gain sexual intimacy. As a professor and psychologist working with couples, I intend to recommend this book to my psychology students and couples as an easy read and addendum to clinical work.”
—Dinelia Rosa, PhD, president-elect of the New York State Psychological Association, director of the Dean Hope Center for Educational & Psychological Services at Columbia University, and adjunct associate professor at the clinical psychology program at Teachers College, Columbia University
“Depression is one of the greatest obstacles in relating to others or yourself. When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is a wonderful remedy for making sure that this doesn’t happen to you or your relationship. It is the right book at the right time, and will help millions of people prevent depression from getting in the way of living happily ever after.”
—Mark Goulston, MD, author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
“If you are depressed, new hope and new life awaits, thanks to the book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship. In it, you’ll find a clear, compassionate, and comprehensive guide, filled with hands-on activities and exercises to steer you through the morass of depression and stagnation that’s separating you from your partner. Thanks to Kolakowski’s invaluable resource, you can rebuild your connection with your partner to be stronger than ever, and find comfort in each other’s arms once again.”
—Sheri Meyers, PsyD, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love and Affair-Proof Your Relationship
“In this new book, Dr. Shannon Kolakowski shows a deep and compassionate understanding of the ways in which depression shows up in our most cherished relationships. Based on research and Dr. Kolakowski’s clinical experience, this book is accessible to real people with real relationship goals. Packed with reflective exercises and concrete tools, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship will empower you (and your partner) to create a healthy and loving bond..”
—Heidi Reeder, PhD, author of Commit to Win, and associate professor of communication at Boise State University
Interview on Single, Shy and Looking for Love
What led you to start writing a book on dating for the shy and socially anxious?
“I think that being in love and having a life partner is one of the most fulfilling and best parts of life. But I’ve seen dating anxiety get in the way of people finding love so frequently – I wanted to help people find the love that they deserve. Dating anxiety limits the amount of people you meet, can keep you stuck in an bad relationship, and can sabotage your chances of showing who you really are to potential partners. Anxiety can be so paralyzing and overwhelming that people often don’t realize how much better things can be.
In my book, I talk about how successful relationships are based on being authentic – it’s not about trying to act a certain way, follow rules, or be someone your not-that only adds more anxiety to the equation. Instead, my book helps you embrace your physical, emotional and sexual self– moving away from defining yourself as someone who isn’t able to have good relationships, and instead knowing that you can have the type of relationship you desire. Using the acceptance and commitment therapy framework, you identify what you want from a relationship, and what steps to take to get it. It gives you a clear guide for how to navigate the most anxiety-provoking aspects of dating, like initiating dates, showing you’re interested in someone, connecting with your date, handling embarrassing or awkward dating situations, handling rejection, addressing fear of intimacy, handling self-doubt and insecurity, addressing fears or worries about sex, and taking your relationship to the next level.” -Shannon Kolakowski
Read the entire interview here.