Featured in publications like Redbook, Scientific American MIND, Men’s Health Magazine, Salon, Shape, The Daily Telegraph, About.com, ParentMap, and eHarmony Advice, Dr. Kolakowski also maintains a relationship blog on The Huffington Post. Her forthcoming book Single, Shy and Looking For Love: A Dating Guide for the Shy and Socially Anxious will be released in October 2014. She is the author of When Depression Hurts Your Relationship (New Harbinger, 2014), available wherever books are sold.
Dr. Shannon’s Latest Articles
(Scientific American MIND) Dating is typically a situation where people feel scrutinized, have to meet new people, and may fear they’ll do something embarrassing. In this way, dating only adds fuel to the anxiety fire. Rife with opportunities for awkward conversations and infinite unknown factors, dating often is seen as overwhelmingly scary and decidedly unappealing… READ ARTICLE
(Scientific American MIND) If your relationship is struggling, depression may be the culprit. A resounding body of research has shown how closely depression is related to relationships in a cyclical fashion: depression affects the quality of your relationships, and the features of your relationship can affect your level of depression… READ ARTICLE
How To Effectively End Any Argument (Huffington Post) Arguments are a normal part of life — it’s certainly not expected that you never disagree with the people that you care about. But what can help is finding a way to disagree that doesn’t drive a wedge between the two of you. Wouldn’t it be a relief if there were a way to end an argument more effectively, bringing the two of your towards a common ground? READ ARTICLE
(About.com) The link between worry and Generalized Anxiety Disorder is clear: excessive worry is one of the main features of GAD. But what about your beliefs about your worry? Can the way you feel about your worry affect your level of anxiety? A new research study shows that holding positive beliefs about your worry–believing it helps you to function as a better person, or helps you to avoid negative things in life–contributes to maintaining your worry and anxiety. In fact, the results show that the more you buy into the positive beliefs about worry, the more severe your worry may be.Read more about the Five Ways That We Believe Worry Helps Us, including five strategies to reduce your level of worry.
(Huffington Post) Major life transitions — moving to a new city, becoming a parent, retirement — can be an exciting and invigorating part of life. Yet transitions, even happy ones, can also be stressful and bring up mixed feelings. READ ARTICLE
(Huffington Post) Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and you’re not alone if you sometimes feel unsure of the best way to celebrate with your loved one. So this year I thought I’d share some ways to spend the big day that will not only be fun for you both, but that will also actually help improve your relationship… READ ARTICLE
(eHarmony Advice) A painful breakup can cause you to fall into depression. You miss your ex (even if you know the breakup is for the best), you’re feeling miserable and crying often, or maybe you just feel numb and empty. You might be second-guessing yourself, feeling bad about yourself, having trouble concentrating at work, and can’t sleep or eat normally. My first suggestion is to definitely seek professional help if it feels unmanageable—most people who get help find relief from their symptoms. When you’re ready, ease back into dating by…READ ARTICLE
About When Depression Hurts Your Relationship
When Depression Hurts Your Relationship tackles a hidden issue that could be affecting your relationship with yourself– and your partner. “With depression, you may become critical of your partner, or doubt your relationship altogether. You may lose interest in intimacy, feel empty, and feel hopeless about the future”, according to Dr. Kolakowski. Fortunately, Dr. Kolakowski lays out manageable steps to prevent your depression from sabotaging your relationship.
“When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is an outstanding book, packed with easy-to-read information and strategies that will help couples navigate the stormy waters of depression. Shannon Kolakowski comprehensively tackles how depression negatively roots itself in the bonds of a partnership and offers solutions that are gentle, frank, and straightforward. One of the most wonderful things about Kolakowski’s writing is that she delicately weaves science and research in such a way that it doesn’t overwhelm the reader. Instead, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship empowers, informs, and inspires with hope and encouragement.”
—Deborah Serani, PsyD, psychologist and award-winning author of Living with Depression
“Kolakowski has written a wonderfully practical book to help people dealing with depression and struggling to preserve their relationships. She integrates her psychology expertise in very simple and easy-to-follow ways. From attachment to coping styles, Kolakowski addresses the psychological aspects of depression that contribute to hurting a relationship, and offers practical and easy exercises to break away from harmful patterns. The book is a great resource—not only for people dealing with depression in their relationship, but also for any couple wanting to improve their communication style, add mindfulness in the relationship, and gain sexual intimacy. As a professor and psychologist working with couples, I intend to recommend this book to my psychology students and couples as an easy read and addendum to clinical work.”
—Dinelia Rosa, PhD, president-elect of the New York State Psychological Association, director of the Dean Hope Center for Educational & Psychological Services at Columbia University, and adjunct associate professor at the clinical psychology
Visit the Books page for more Reviews and Downloads