Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, is an author, ghostwriter, and psychologist who writes about relationships, anxiety, dating, depression, and parenting.

Dr. Kolakowski is the author of When Depression Hurts Your Relationship and Single, Shy and Looking For Love. She has been featured in publications such as The New York Post, Redbook, Scientific American MIND, Men’s Health Magazine, Shape, Brides, Good Morning America, and The Chicago Tribune.  


Dr. Shannon In The News




A Few Things That Therapy May Do Better Than Medication, According To Science

“Over the past two decades, the field of psychology has become a more rigorously tested science, with treatment outcomes measured and reproduced, and therapy guidelines have followed,” says Kolakowski… READ ARTICLE


New Baby? Here Are 3 Critical Money Shifts You Need To Make

“Having a baby brings a certain amount of uncertainty, so you want to have a stable base to launch from. Knowing that you can discuss financial changes or concerns with your spouse will provide you with a solid foundation,” says Kolakowski…. READ ARTICLE


Depression Isn’t Always What You Think: The Subtle Signs


Depression can poke through in unexpected ways, both physical and behavioral – it’s kind of like depression is finding a way out, if it isn’t being acknowledged otherwise…  READ ARTICLE


Business Insider Logo

5 Ways to Overcome Dating Anxiety


Dating is typically a situation where people feel scrutinized, have to meet new people, and may fear they’ll do something embarrassing. In this way, dating only adds fuel to the anxiety fire. Rife with opportunities for awkward conversations and infinite unknown factors, dating often is seen as overwhelmingly scary and decidedly unappealing… READ ARTICLE


sam thumb

The Warning Signs That Depression Is Affecting Your Relationship


If your relationship is struggling, depression may be the culprit. A resounding body of research has shown how closely depression is related to relationships in a cyclical fashion: depression affects the quality of your relationships, and the features of your relationship can affect your level of depression… READ ARTICLE



The Surprising Key Element in Happy Couples


Most of us can think of all sorts of elements that might make a happy couple. But there’s one key factor that almost everyone overlooks: Emotional Intelligence (EI). In fact, a new research meta-analysis shows a significant association between Emotional Intelligence and relationship satisfaction...READ ARTICLE





6 Steps For Handling Those Big Life Transitions 


Major life transitions — moving to a new city, becoming a parent, retirement — can be an exciting and invigorating part of life. Yet transitions, even happy ones, can also be stressful and bring up mixed feelings…READ ARTICLE

Praise for Single, Shy, and Looking for Love

Single Shy and Looking for Love - 3D

“Shannon Kolakowski demonstrates that there’s no need to feel powerless in dating. Single, Shy, and Looking for Love will help both women and men identify the source of dating anxiety, and it offers real strategies for getting out there and finding love. This excellent book contains powerful techniques for mastering shyness and focusing instead on dating strategies that work. If anxiety is keeping you from finding the love of your life, please read this book. It might just change your life.”

Shawn T. Smith, PsyD, clinical psychologist and author of The User’s Guide to the Human Mind and The Woman’s Guide to How Men Think

“Dating is a process of deliberate exploration. At one level we are exploring human relationships, but at another level dating opens us up to the world within. It opens us up to our hopes, aspirations, and values, but it also opens us up to our fears, anxieties, and judgments.
In the normal mode of mind we often suppose that the difficult material in that second territory is merely something to be gotten rid of so we can get back to dating. This book takes a much different approach: that territory is worthy of attention and exploration. It is part of the very fabric of our emotional lives that we bring to relationships themselves. If you are interested in exploring human relationships, consider the possibility that you have a much larger territory to explore as part of that very process. This gentle and wise book will show you how.”

Steven C. Hayes, PhD, Foundation Professor and Director of Clinical Training at the University of Nevada and author of Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life

“With Shannon Kolakowski’s empathic guidance you will learn to accept and love yourself—including your anxiety and shyness. Furthermore, you will develop new skills that will help you find love. If you are shy or socially anxious and want a loving relationship this is the book for you.”

Michelle Skeen, PsyD, author of Love Me Don’t Leave Me

Visit Goodreads for reader reviews and to leave your own comments about the book.


“When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is an outstanding book, packed with easy-to-read information and strategies that will help couples navigate the stormy waters of depression. Shannon Kolakowski comprehensively tackles how depression negatively roots itself in the bonds of a partnership and offers solutions that are gentle, frank, and straightforward. One of the most wonderful things about Kolakowski’s writing is that she delicately weaves science and research in such a way that it doesn’t overwhelm the reader. Instead, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship empowers, informs, and inspires with hope and encouragement.”

Deborah Serani, PsyD, psychologist and award-winning author of Living with Depression

“Kolakowski has written a wonderfully practical book to help people dealing with depression and struggling to preserve their relationships. She integrates her psychology expertise in very simple and easy-to-follow ways. From attachment to coping styles, Kolakowski addresses the psychological aspects of depression that contribute to hurting a relationship, and offers practical and easy exercises to break away from harmful patterns. The book is a great resource—not only for people dealing with depression in their relationship, but also for any couple wanting to improve their communication style, add mindfulness in the relationship, and gain sexual intimacy. As a professor and psychologist working with couples, I intend to recommend this book to my psychology students and couples as an easy read and addendum to clinical work.”

Dinelia Rosa, PhD, president-elect of the New York State Psychological Association, director of the Dean Hope Center for Educational & Psychological Services at Columbia University, and adjunct associate professor at the clinical psychology

Visit Goodreads for reader reviews and to leave your own comments about the book.

Visit the Books page for more reviews and downloads.  

Find out more about Shannon Kolakowski’s practice, or fill out the contact form to set up an appointment.