If the blues are causing a rift with your partner, Kolakowski also recommends redirecting attention to focus on them.
“Enjoy nesting and the feelings that come with being officially married,” she said. “Take time to make romantic dates, show affection to one another, and show appreciation and gratitude for your relationship. Think of it as continuing your marriage vows through daily acts of love; leaving a love note before you set off to work, sending flowers for no reason, giving a shoulder massage after a long day. These habits not only solidify your relationship and build good habits, but they bolster you from depression.” READ ARTICLE
If you’ve ever relocated with (or for) your S.O., you have to read this…READ ARTICLE
Your family and friends are put in second place. The biggest sign of work addiction is neglecting your family and outside life…READ MORE
It’s a date, not an interview, reminds Shannon Kolakowski, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist…READ ARTICLE
According to psychologist Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, in her book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and…READ MORE
What’s Love Got to Do with It?
I decided to ask Dr. Shannon Kolakowski, a psychologist expert, about the challenges people with mental illnesses face when they are trying to decide whether or not to disclose their condition in a romantic relationship…READ MORE
5 Facts Many People Don’t Know About Depression
In fact, irritability may even indicate a more severe depression, said clinical psychologist Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD…READ ARTICLE
The 18 Sweet Nothings He Needs to Hear
In a relationship, it’s not only women who like to hear that they look nice, or that they’re wanted. Whether it’s a simple compliment to kick off his day or something deeper, these affirmations will strengthen your bond…READ MORE
Win Back Your Girlfriend
You can recover from botched dates, fumbled trysts, and sunken relationships. In fact, do it right and she’ll love you twice as much the second time around… READ ARTICLE
REKINDLE LOST LOVE Here we have the ultimate do-over. Angry words were said, personal items were packed up, and your reputation as a “great guy” suffered a hammer blow. A lost cause? Not necessarily. “Before you initiate contact, think about what you really hope to gain from rebooting the relationship,” says relationship psychologist Shannon Kolakowski, Psy.D. “Usually there is a valid reason the relationship didn’t work out the first time.” If you’re trying to prove that you can make it work because you see her as a challenge, or if you’re going through a lonely period, move on. But if you feel that whatever had been in the way of a strong relationship with her no longer exists, then prove it… READ ARTICLE
People are well aware that persistent sadness is a symptom of depression. But irritability is a key sign as well. In fact, irritability may even indicate a more severe depression, said clinical psychologist Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD. Irritability also is associated with a greater chance of having other mental illness, such as anxiety, she said.
Other emotions tend to underlie irritability, such as sadness, shame and overwhelm, she said. But irritability shows up on the surface. “This happens when people are less aware of their internal states, where there’s trouble recognizing, labeling and processing their emotions.” READ ARTICLE
Need some help managing your dating fears? Follow these expert tips
Dating is a bit intimidating for most people. But if you are an anxious person, dating is more than intimidating—it can be downright painful and terrifying. Most people with anxiety have difficulty dealing with uncertainty. And dating, for all its glory, is rife with uncertainty. After all, you are getting to know one another, and it’s uncertain if you will have a connection or not. In order to deal with the anxiety, your instinct might be to avoid dating altogether… READ ARTICLE
Stressed at Work? Support Your Spouse
Stress due to work reduced by mutual spousal support
Everyone knows that it is unhealthy to be stressed out. More and more relationships involve couples who are both working full-time. How can you deal with your own work stress and support your spouse? There are very real positive benefits of a mutually supportive relationship, like greater marriage satisfaction, greater satisfaction at work, and less negative criticism of family members and co-workers.Couples can learn the difference between favorable and unfavorable support for their spouse to help strengthen their relationship… READ ARTICLE
Hidden Issue That Could Affect Your Relationships
When a relationship is struggling, it’s always good to look at yourself and see how you can contribute in a better way. But what if the underlying issue is one that you didn’t even know you had?
Psychologist Shannon Kolakowski joins New Day Northwest to talk about some very serious issues that could be affecting your relationships.
Watch the segment on New Day Northwest (VIDEO)
The Shared-Custody Shuffle: Helping Your Teen Cope With Separate Households
There’s a growing number of teens whose divorced parents share custody. Although the mother’s house is still overwhelmingly the primary home (82 percent of the time, according to the U.S. Census), more and more moms are working, tilting the trend toward more shared or joint custody, everything from every-other-weekend shifts to 50-50 splits. And that adds up to a whole lot of two-household migration for some teens… READ ARTICLE
Is Your Teen Drinking? Set Rules!
Alcohol impulses reduced amongst adolescents with strict rules from parents
Teenagers face the pressures of illegal drinking whether parents talk to them about it or not. New research supports moms and dads who not only talk to their children about alcohol but also set rules.Researchers discovered that when people keep getting drunk, even the simplest cue of alcohol, whether it be a beer bottle or liquor ad, could motivate them to drink again, unless they have a distinct reason not to… READ ARTICLE
Ask the Experts: What Makes a Man Fall in Love?
What makes a man fall completely head over heels in love? Is it timing, certain qualities he’s looking for, or basic chemistry? We posed this frequently-asked question to a variety of well-rounded experts. Here’s what they had to say… READ ARTICLE
Working Part Time Has Health Benefits
Working mothers are healthier than stay at home moms
Although some find the ability to stay at home with their kids a luxury, a new study suggests it may take a toll on the well-being of some.
The study found that moms who work show less signs of depression and an overall increase in general wellbeing. And according to the study’s author, part-time work may be the typical mom’s ideal… READ ARTICLE
Shop Til’ You Smile
Experiential shoppers report greater well being than material shoppers
Have you ever considered that what you buy has an effect on your life satisfaction? A new study shows that if you spend money on experiences, rather than items, you may have a better outlook on life.
Extraverts and those who are open to new experiences tend to spend disposable income on experiences, like concert tickets and vacations, rather than a trip to the mall. These people also report a greater sense of satisfaction with life… READ ARTICLE
Ask the Experts: Why Some Men Run Hot and Cold
“No matter what the reason for his hot/cold behavior, a common outcome can be predicted: if he’s not consistently responsive to you at the beginning of the relationship, chances are he is not going to change and become consistent in the future. As frustrating as it is not knowing why he changed, your time and energy are better spent with someone who is emotionally available to you”…READ ARTICLE
Emotional Training Falls Short for Borderline Teens
A new study found that emotion regulation training, when added onto typical therapy sessions, does not offer any added benefits to symptoms of borderline personality disorder in teens.
“Evidence has shown that having a good working relationship is really important for therapy outcomes, so make sure that your teen really likes their therapist, feels comfortable talking to them and is engaged in the treatment,” said Shannon Kolakowski, Psy.D… READ ARTICLE
What Are the Benefits of Couples Counseling Before Marriage?
Counseling during your engagement can decrease the chances of divorce and set a precedent for how you cope with future problems.
What to Expect
Premarital counselors may start out by asking you to share what you love about your partner. Focusing on each other’s positive attributes and showing gratitude and appreciation can help build a strong foundation for a healthy marriage, says psychologist and author Shannon Kolakowski…. READ ARTICLE.
Six Things You Need to Know about Dating with Depression (After a Breakup)
A painful breakup can cause you to fall into depression. You miss your ex (even if you know the breakup is for the best), you’re feeling miserable and crying often, or maybe you just feel numb and empty. You might be second-guessing yourself, feeling bad about yourself, having trouble concentrating at work, and can’t sleep or eat normally…. READ ARTICLE
Dr. Shannon’s Interview with All About Psychology