Articles

Dr. Kolakowski is a blogger at The Huffington Post and has written articles for publications such as Darling Magazine, Scientific American MIND, The Good Men Project, Business Insider, ParentMap, eHarmony, Salon, About.com, The Daily Telegraph, and Shape Magazine. She writes about relationships, parenting, dating, and mental health. 

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7 Signs of Emotional Wellness

Have you ever wondered what it really means to be emotionally healthy? Have you ever wondered how your psychological well-being compares to others around you?…READ ARTICLE
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The Single Best Thing You Can Do for Your Relationship 

When we think of what we can do to nurture our relationship, we often think of tangibles. Buy her diamond earrings. Take her out to an elegant dinner. Surprise him by wearing sexy lingerie. Buy flowers and chocolate. Take a romantic trip together. While all of these things certainly won’t hurt your relationship (at all!), they aren’t necessarily the strongest ways to connect with your loved one…READ ARTICLE
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How To Effectively End Any Argument

Arguments are a normal part of life — it’s certainly not expected that you never disagree with the people that you care about. But what can help is finding a way to disagree that doesn’t drive a wedge between the two of you. Wouldn’t it be a relief if there were a way to end an argument more effectively, bringing the two of your towards a common ground? READ ARTICLE
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Valentine’s Day Ideas That Will Improve Your Relationship, According to Research

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and you’re not alone if you sometimes feel unsure of the best way to celebrate with your loved one. So this year I thought I’d share some ways to spend the big day that will not only be fun for you both, but that will also actually help improve your relationship. Win-win, right? READ MORE
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6 Things You Need to Know About Dating With Depression (After a Breakup)

A painful breakup can cause you to fall into depression. You miss your ex (even if you know the breakup is for the best), you’re feeling miserable and crying often, or maybe you just feel numb and empty. You might be second-guessing yourself, feeling bad about yourself, having trouble concentrating at work, and can’t sleep or eat normally. READ MORE
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Why We Believe Worry Helps Us

The link between worry and Generalized Anxiety Disorder is clear: excessive worry is one of the main features of GAD. But what about your beliefs about your worry? Can the way you feel about your worry affect your level of anxiety? A new research study shows that holding positive beliefs about your worry–believing it helps you to function as a better person, or helps you to avoid negative things in life–contributes to maintaining your worry and anxiety. In fact, the results show that the more you buy into the positive beliefs about worry, the more severe your worry may be…READ ARTICLE
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Your Biggest First Date Worries… Solved

Most of us get a little nervous before first dates. When I was single, I would get so nervous before dates that I would lose my appetite completely. It made dinner dates hard…READ ARTICLE.
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5 Ways to Overcome Dating Anxiety

Anxiety disorders are the most common psychological disorder in the U.S., affecting 18 percent of the adult population. Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is the third-most-common psychological disorder, affecting 15 million men and women in the U.S. The DSM-5 defines social anxiety as the “persistent fear of one or more situations in which the person is exposed to possible scrutiny by others and fears that he or she may do something or act in a way that will be humiliating or embarrassing…READ ARTICLE
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How to Get Along with Your Teen: Talking, Rules, and Conflict

Talking with your teen about difficult topics can be stressful for both you and your adolescent. It may feel like you and your teen are on opposite sides of a spectrum. This article reviews a few key ideas to keep in mind when delving into those challenging discussions that inevitably arise during adolescence…READ ARTICLE
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Are You A Perfectionist? Three Changes to Make Today

As a perfectionist, you set standards for yourself that are far beyond reach or reason. You work endlessly to accomplish a goal and then measure your self-worth based on your level of success. You may see your perfectionism as a motivator that propels you to do your best. But it’s impossible to feel fulfilled when nothing…READ ARTICLE
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Conquering Dating Anxiety

Dating is a bit intimidating for most people. But if you are an anxious person,  dating is more than intimidating — it can be downright painful and terrifying. Most people with anxiety have difficulty dealing with uncertainty. And dating, for all its glory, is rife with uncertainty. After all, you are getting to know one another and it’s uncertain if you will have a connection or not. There is uncertainty about what the two of you will talk about, about who will pay for the date, and how the date will end…READ ARTICLE
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5 Ways to Deal with Dating Burnout

I hear the cry, loud and clear. The outcry comes from my clients, from readers who respond to my dating blogs, and from close friends who are dating. I myself had the outcry during my long tenure as a single person. The outcry is resounding: Dating is discouraging. It’s discouraging! It’s hard, it’s not always fun, and it can be exhausting…READ ARTICLE
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Quick Tips: The Teenage Parent’s Tool Box

Hello Parents! Here are some simple tips to remember when it comes to your relationship with your teen.

  • Be consistent. Their identity is changing and evolving. They need you to be the consistent, steady adult, even when they push you away. They should know what to expect from you.
  • Validation is affirming their experience, emotions, or body language. It doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with it, condoning it or encouraging it, rather that you are acknowledging where they’re at right now. Exercise: try asking their opinion about something (say a music band or a current event). Listen to their answer, repeat what they said (“So let me see if I have this right… you like this because…”) and then follow up with (“I hadn’t realized that’s why you felt that way. Neat.”) And leave it at that. This teaches your teen that they when they share with you, their opinions will be validated…READ ARTICLE

 

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Wedding Planning Stress: What Your Attachment Style Says About You

Wedding planning is a phase of life that is really exciting, and it can also place strain on your relationships at times. Your fiancé wants to have a bachelor party where? Your mother thinks you should invite who? Your grandmother thinks you should wear what? And so on. There are different ways in which these tricky scenarios play…READ ARTICLE